What the Bible says about Gender Part 2




Sunday 04/15/18 

Series: What the Bible says about Gender

Message – What the Bible says about Gender Pt. 2


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Handout PDF


What the Bible says about Gender

We allowed about 15 minute with a handout I had given.

Two things I taught last week which were taken from 1 Tim. 2, Titus 2 & 1 Peter 3 brought up subjects which were naturally going to be addressed later in other passages but rather than wait to bring them up – I thought it in keeping with a logical flow to address them now. So, with that in mind please turn with me to Prov. 31

Those three topics included:

  1. Women managing the home instead of pursuing careers. A keeper at home, meaning one who looks after domestic affairs with prudence and care.Women who become widowed or divorced within conditions in agreement with scripture – should seek to remarry ASAP.
  2. When is it the job of the church to support or lend financial aid to a woman?

Now concerning the first one…last week, towards the end of the message I said that if a woman has young children and is in the marketplace (meaning she has a job or career outside of the home) she PROBABLY shouldn’t.

Now, this brought up the second topic of what if she is a widow and has no support which we will address later from 1 Tim. 5.

But now we are going to Prov. 31

The Example for women:

Prov. 31:10-31

10 – she is invaluable

11  – She is a confidant – she does provides good counsel and does not speak ill of him, nor make his secrets known.

12 – Her entire life is devoted to his good

13 & 14 – She seeks wool & Flax (for clothes & lamps).  She sees to it that her family is clothed and that their clothes are well mended and the house is well kept. She is not idle but industrious, if she imports she also exports.

15 – She prepares food for her family before they even get up from rest. This implies a woman who sees and provides for what is needed before it is needed.

16 & 17 – This “can” mean that she purchases land and then works it – or that she considers the land she has and works it to produce food for her house.

18 & 19 – She does what she does well and she stands ready 24/7. Here sowing and mending are offered as an example.

20 – She makes enough to give to others – she seeks them out and gives.

21 – She shows prudence and foresight so that inconveniences both expected and not, do not catch her off guard or unprepared. In this case double-lined clothes (scarlet) are ready for when winter comes.

22 & 23 – She dresses well and represents her husband with dignity.

24 – Again she is industrious. This is not so much a chapter on the virtues of sewing, as it is a testament to whatever a woman does for her family and home she does in sufficient enough quantities to give to the poor and sell in the marketplace. She has in view both making profit and giving to the poor.

25 – Her deeds will bring honor to her in her old age. (we see this in Paul’s admonition to take care of widows who lived lives like this)

26 – She is wise in her words and kind in what she says.

27 – She manages her home well and is NOT lazy.

28 – Her family honor and praise her.

29-31 – A woman who lives like this is more virtuous than most. She knows that the praise of strangers is pointless and vain and that external beauty is empty & meaningless – she values a pure heart of devotion towards God and it is from that – that her praise will come. She is worthy of the rewards of her labors and her works will speak well of her in her time of judgment.


New Testament Example:

1Tim. 5:3-16, “(3) Honor widows who are really widows.  (4) But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.  (5) Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. (6) But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.  (7) And these things command, that they may be blameless. (8) But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  (9) Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, (10) well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.  (11) But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry, (12) having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith. (13) And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.  (14) Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (15) For some have already turned aside after Satan. (16) If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.”


1 Timothy 5:5

Is a widow indeed AND is desolate” the word desolate is from the words monos meaning “alone”. This word is the perfect tense participle of monoo, meaning “to leave alone”. This woman has NO familial support or in fact, any support at all.

The word “trusts” in the Lord means a history of trusting with results being realized in the present.

Wuest says, “It speaks here of a widow who has as a habit of life set her hope upon God with the result that the hope has become permanently fixed as a settled and immovable trust. One could translate, “has directed her hope at God,” or, “has her hope settled permanently on God.”


That her hope is well placed is made sure in Psa. 146:5-9, “(5) Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God,  (6) Who made heaven and earth, The sea, and all that is in them; Who keeps truth forever, (7)  Who executes justice for the oppressed, Who gives food to the hungry. The LORD gives freedom to the prisoners.  (8) The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous.  (9) The LORD watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow; But the way of the wicked He turns upside down.”


1 Timothy 5:6

 (6)  But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.  

A TRUE widow trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day:

Even in her widowhood she is playing the role of helper and one who undergirds in prayer.

It is conceivable that those who should be legitimately helped by the church should themselves serve the church in some way. This may be in fact, a form of suggestion from Paul that in these cases and in regards to these types of true widows they could  be given the “job” of praying for the church and that the church would see to their support as compensation.

  1. But she who lives in pleasure: The words “Lives in pleasure” does not indicate grossly criminal pleasures per se and if strictly interpreted only means luxury in eating and drinking. The greater implication is one who indulges herself in luxuries which include, but are not restricted to luxurious eating and drinking.

Gill says that this type of woman is living voluptuously, and deliciously; lives a wanton, loose, and licentious life, serving divers lusts and pleasures.

In any case the woman so described seems to be one who lives to pamper herself and especially her body in self-indulgent activities.

The widow who does this is said to be, “dead while she lives”.

There is NO good way to understand this statement. It seems to imply that while she is alive physically, she has died spiritually or at very least has become so backslidden as to have a dead conscience.

Many who come to the church for assistance are in need because they have lived their lives for pleasures of some sort or another and now they are in need and so want the church to help. In such cases it is legitimate to say, “No.”

 (7)  And these things command, that they may be blameless.

Verse 8 is a continuation of verse 4 those believing children of widows need to look out for and provide for their parents. The words “show piety at home” literally means to act with godly and god focused reverence in their own personal households.

The words “repay their parents” is not sufficient. It means to take them into your future plans of provision by thinking ahead with their well-being and provision in mind. It applies NOT just to parents but to those who have come before you – this would include grandparents and aunts and uncles as well. And it is to these that verse 8 is specifically addressed.


1 Tim. 5:9

(9)  Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man,

– Does not mean one who has been married more than once within Godly, scriptural proceedings, but one who has divorced her husband for any reason other than continued and unrepentant adultery and married another like is the case in Mark 10:12.


1 Timothy 5:11

(11)  But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry,  (12) having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith.

“But the younger widows refuse,…” Nothing is said concerning their provision while widowed. This may be because the Apostle expected that such would return to the home of their father or nearest male kin, or because they were well-bodied and able to take care of themselves – but the later is far less likely.

Paul instead advises them to marry, and as a result would have husbands to take care of them:

“for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ;” It is distressing that Paul by the Spirit foresees that such would nearly always be the case so as to seemingly encourage remarriage in all cases.

Adam Clarke on the idea of grow wanton: “The word is supposed to be derived from “to remove” and “the rein”; and is a metaphor taken from a pampered horse, from whose mouth the rein has been removed, so that there is nothing to check or confine its behavior. The metaphor is plain enough, and the application easy to grasp.”

When a young woman becomes a widow, often she will “cast off the restraints” of her Lord after realizing freedom from her former husband in a desire to get re-married. She will lower her christian standards for a suitable mate as well as act and dress provocatively in order to solicit a male’s attention. This may take the more “innocent” form of becoming flirty with young men within the Christian community or in it’s worse form it will manifest in seeking a mate among the ungodly in bars, dance clubs and various other secular arenas.

“they will marry;” Paul is not saying marrying is bad for these young widows, for he later encourages remarriage for younger widows, but Paul is referring to marrying as the result of having cast off the restraints of her Lord which is seen in the words of the next verse “Cast off her first faith”.


1 Timothy 5:13

 (13)  And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.  (14) Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (15) For some have already turned aside after Satan.  (16) If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.”

Paul does not like idleness. If they do not marry, and do not cast off Christ they also MUST NOT become idle. They should be zealous concerning good works, helping the men in her life and giving whatever aid she is capable of towards the local assembly. Prayers, supplications and fastings being an example.

Consider Anna the prophetess as an example of this.

1Cor. 7:25-40, “(25) Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.  (26) I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: (27) Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.  (28) But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. (29) But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,  (30) those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, (31) and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away. (32) But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.  (33) But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. (34) There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. (35) And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.  (36) But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. (37) Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. (38) So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. (39) A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.  (40) But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.”


Also Tabitha who may have been a widow, whom Peter rose from the dead. She had been a woman of good works and charitable deeds including making clothes for people in the church…you can read about it in Acts 9:36-43


All of the passages above seem to indicate that a woman remains in need of a covering, provisions, protection and authority of a man all her life.

A father, is that authority until she moves from his authority to that of another man – ideally her husband, though in the case of the death of a father it may be a brother or uncle. Regardless, it seems undesirable for a woman to be on her own. The story of Ruth and Naomi illustrate this very clearly.

Example of chick on FB.

  • Husband minister passed away.
  • Graduated with honors from seminary
  • Has been seeking identity through others affirming her as a minister with equal pay and respect.
  • I talked for days w/her and some of her FB friends even agreed with me on some points.
  • She could not see why she needed a male covering.
  • On a personal note she seemed defensive and protective of her views as if she needed them as an emotional life raft.
  • I gave her a warning and I have prayed for her but not long after our conversation and my warnings to her…. for the first time since her husband’s passing a job at a local church governed by a female pastor opened up for her and she’s finally got what she’s always wanted and I fear that any number of additional deceptions are not far off because she forsook Godly counsel.

Job 33:

“(29) Behold, God works all these things, Twice, in fact, three times with a man, (30)  To bring back his soul from the Pit, That he may be enlightened with the light of life.”

Prov. 1:22-33,

“(22) How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity? For scorners delight in their scorning, And fools hate knowledge. (23)  Turn at my rebuke; Surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. (24)  Because I have called and you refused, I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded, (25)  Because you disdained all my counsel, And would have none of my rebuke, (26)  I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes, (27)  When your terror comes like a storm, And your destruction comes like a whirlwind, When distress and anguish come upon you. (28)  “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me. (29)  Because they hated knowledge And did not choose the fear of the LORD, (30)  They would have none of my counsel And despised my every rebuke. (31)  Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way, And be filled to the full with their own fancies. (32)  For the turning away of the simple will slay them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them; (33)  But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, And will be secure, without fear of evil.”


This service had content that is NOT written out here, so I would encourage you to listen to it WHILE you read…Blessings! 


I hope this teaching will challenge you and encourage you to place your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.

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Hi my name is Mark and though I am opposed to titles, I am currently the only Pastor (shepherd/elder) serving our assembly right now.

I have been shepherding in one capacity or another for nearly 30 years now, though never quite like I am today.

Early in 2009 the Lord revealed to me that the way we had structured our assembly (church) was not scriptural in that it was out of sync with what Paul modeled for us in the New Testament. In truth, I (like many pastors I am sure) never even gave this fundamental issue of church structure the first thought. I had always assumed that church structure was largely the same everywhere and had been so from the beginning. While I knew Paul had some very stringent things to say about the local assembly of believers, the point of our gatherings together and who may or may not lead, I never even considered studying these issues but assumed we were all pretty much doing it right...safety in numbers right?! Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong!

So needless to say, my discovery that we had been doing it wrong for nearly two decades was a bit of a shock to me! Now, this "revelation" that did not come about all at once but over the course of a few weeks. We were a traditional single pastor led congregation. It was a top-bottom model of ministry which is in part biblical, but not in the form of a monarchy.

The needed change did not come into focus until following 9 very intense months of study and discussions with those who were leaders in our church at the time.

We now understand and believe that the Bible teaches co-leadership with equal authority in each local assembly. Having multiple shepherds with God's heart and equal authority protects both Shepherds and sheep. Equal accountability keep authority and doctrine in check. Multiple shepherds also provides teaching with various styles and giftings with leadership skills which are both different and complementary.

For a while we had two co-pastors (elders) (myself and one other man) who led the church with equal authority, but different giftings. We both taught in our own ways and styles, and our leadership skills were quite different, but complimentary. We were in complete submission to each other and worked side-by-side in the labor of shepherding the flock.

Our other Pastor has since moved on to other ministry which has left us with just myself. While we currently only have one Pastor/Elder, it is our desire that God, in His faithfulness and timing, may bring us more as we grow in maturity and even in numbers.

As to my home, I have been married since 1995 to my wonderful wife Terissa Woodson who is my closest friend and most trusted ally.

As far as my education goes, I grew up in a Christian home, but questioned everything I was ever taught.

I graduated from Bible college in 1990 and continued to question everything I was ever taught (I do not mention my college in order to avoid being labeled).

Perhaps my greatest preparation for ministry has been life and ministry itself. To quote an author I have come to enjoy namely Fredrick Buechner in his writing entitled, Now and Then, "If God speaks to us at all other than through such official channels as the Bible and the church, then I think that He speaks to us largely through what happens to us...if we keep our hearts open as well as our ears, if we listen with patience and hope, if we remember at all deeply and honestly, then I think we come to recognize beyond all doubt, that, however faintly we may hear Him, He is indeed speaking to us, and that, however little we may understand of it, His word to each of us is both recoverable and precious beyond telling." ~ Fredrick Buechner

Well that is about all there is of interest to tell you about me.

I hope our ministry here is a blessing to you and your family. I also hope that it is only a supplement to a local church where you are committed to other believers in a community of grace.

~God Bless!